I do love a good guest blog here on "The Wodfather" so I asked my friend Sarah aka "The Puker" to put together her own list of tips on how to sneak in some extra rest during a WOD. Without further ado......
The Wodfather’s list of survival tips is pretty solid, but here are a few more specifically for the ladies. These are right out of my shiny black Zella gym purse (lulu you don’t own me!)...
· Be Efficient: Efficiency is gospel in CrossFit. Although I’m not really sure Glassman has a firm grasp on efficiency - how in the hell is picking up 75 pounds and carrying it 100 feet over your head more efficient than using your foot to nudge the bar along for the same 100 feet? If you are caught resting, simply explain you are being “efficient.” It’s not a lie, breathing is efficient and it sounds so smart and CrossFit-correct that it’s pretty much an unassailable explanation.
· Use Your Assets: This is one time you’re allowed to use your rack. For your hand-release push-ups or burpees to count, your chest needs to hit the floor. If you’re well-endowed (whether it’s a gift or a purchase), this is your short-cut, use it. You can lie down and still look like you are doing a push up!
· Open the Door: It gets hot in the gym. Even in the winter. This is something men and young girls have trouble understanding, but if you’re a lady with a few decades under her belt you know it is fucking hot in the box. Opening the door is the quickest way to cool off. There are a couple of ways to use the door effectively. In the summer, it’s best to just open the door before the wod starts and scatter all your equipment in front of the door so that no one else can get an inch of your air and thereby get close enough to see what the hell you are doing. In colder weather, save the door opening for the middle of the wod or break it into stages (open door, thruster, latch door to outside wall, burpee, check if door is still firmly latched, thruster).
· Set Up a Circuit: If you’re not comfortable hogging the door (then you’re really not worthy of the door ), then get greedy the opposite way: spread your stuff all over the gym so you have to travel to get from station to station. It’s just like at Curves where you spend half your time waiting, or resting, to do the next exercise.
· Foot Fetish: Some people think the shoes make the athlete in CrossFit. Some people think that five pairs of shoes make you five times superior to everyone else in the gym. Other people know that shoes don’t even matter at all, that barefoot is best and that the one thing shoes are really good for is taking them off. Unless you’re shod in Velcro toddler shoes, you can count on at least 15 seconds of rest while you unlace and remove your shoes. If you’d like to double that rest time break down the process and spread it over several breaks.But make sure to take both shoes off at the same time, because hopping around in one shoe is a clear violation of Regina’s fashion sense and she will be all over you in a matter of seconds if you try to pull that shit.
· Strip: If you must work out in your shoes, you can also try this same approach by layering up on clothes and then removing them during the wod. If you get to the gym and find yourself in desperate need of layers, look for Matt. There’s a decent chance he’ll be wearing an extra pair of pants/tights/shorts he can let you borrow (yes, I know I am talking to the ladies).
· Keep Track: Use chalk to track your rounds.Don't use traditional hash marks, instead use a system that no one else could ever begin to understand. For example, use draw lines of different lengths to mean different amounts of completed reps, that way you can take your time drawing on the gym floor and still look like you’re on top of things.
· Be a Planner: Before every wod, make a plan. Share it or don’t. It doesn’t matter. Actually the only time it matters that you have a plan is when you are caught standing completely still doing absolutely nothing. When confronted, yell “I have a plan!” and you will be left alone because everybody respects a plan. Plus, since you really did make a plan before you started, you will not be lying.
· Be a Shadow: Pick the exact opposite of a trainer’s pet (Marty) and stand next to them during the wod. As long as they are moving, the trainer will be focused on yelling at them and you can rest as needed.
· Play the Lady Card: No not that lady card - this is not the swimming unit in seventh grade gym class and besides, your trainer is a lady, she doesn’t give a shit. Play the real lady card: the my-entire-pelvic-floor-is-a-mess-because-I-sacrificed-my-body-for-the-future-of-the-human-race-card. This needs no further description.
· Bring Your Kids: Nothing breaks up a wod like kids. Consider tossing a little pocket change their way to entice the kids to start pinching each other at about eleven minutes in to your fifteen minute AMRAP. It will take at least five minutes to sort that shit out.