March 1, 2012

My Mommy does CrossFit...

Tonight I am lucky enough to have one of my favorite foul mouthed Moms guest blogging for The Wodfather. If you get the chance, swing over to Mommyfesto and check out her blog. She told me that I needed another "Signs you have been doing Crossfit too long when...." lists but from a woman's perspective. I told her to do it herself because the closest I come to having a woman's perspective on anything is when I Rx at the women's weight. Without further ado......

Top Signs You’ve Been Doing Crossfit Too Long – Womens version

1.       While watching Lifetime Movie Night thrillers, you often imagine yourself overcoming the creepy neighbor/stalker/serial killer character by challenging him to a “death-by” workout.

2.       At Costco, you find yourself loading up on cases of really heavy crap you don’t need – soup/cat food/printer paper – just so you can politely decline assistance unloading your cart.

3.       Sadly, long-sleeved skinny tees no longer fit – there’s still plenty of room in the bust, but you look like a jersey shore jackass in the sleeve area.

4.       While you once would have been horrified to reveal bruised knees in cocktail dress (you are not THAT kind of a girl!), you now smugly sport your burpee bruises at formal occasions. 

5.       Whereas you used to plan your hand gestures to highlight your sparkly diamond, you’ve now figured out how to turn things around to show off your bloody calluses.

6.       Your lingerie drawer has expanded: you have daytime underwear, date-night underwear, and double-under underwear – and the latter is the most expensive of the bunch.

7.       You’ve traded cardies for hoodies. In fact, you’re actively looking for the perfect cocktail hoodie.

8.       You’re thinking of getting an apron that says “the only plates I clean are at the gym.”  To be fair, that’s also what your tattoo would say, if you were getting a tattoo, which you probably won’t do, but the whole world should know that it’s not because you are afraid of the pain, you can TOTALLY handle the pain. 

9.       You’ve contemplating showing up for Olympic lifting in your Tahari metallic wedges, c’mon the heel is exactly the same!

10.      You've ever secretly wondered what the ladies named workout for your name would be. 

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