July 16, 2012

2012 Crossfit Games Observations by JFW

Have you ever played a round real golf after playing golf on your Wii or PS3? You're about 250 yards from the hole and you reach for your 7 iron..... That's what it feels like when you go back to the gym the day after watching the Crossfit Games. My strategy for "Diane" today.......unbroken. My back and shoulders afterward.........broken.

The games this year were really fun to watch and while I am sure I will needle HQ throughout this blog, overall it was great.

I'm gonna start with a HUGE Congrats to Crossfit Distinctions very own Scott Panchik. Scotty had his first trip to the games this year and finished 4th overall and won the final event "Fran". Those of us that know Scotty will tell you that not only is he a fantastic athlete but also an all around nice, humble guy. My only complaint around Scotty was not with him but with the commentators. He must have been invisible to them because I swear to God every time he would come on screen they would gloss right over him or ignore him altogether. In the final heat they went on and on how Jason Khalipa (in 5th) was chasing Kyle Kasperbauer (in 3rd). Now I realize that I went to school in Mississippi but I'm almost positive that 4th is closer to 3rd than 5th. Suck it Khalpia.....

Rich Froning took the overall title for the second year in a row. Rich is not only the fittest man on earth but also the smoothest. I wonder how many times a day he waxes his chest. I got a little worried for him at the end when they added the "Double under/Banger"event. I figured Rich was too religious to do a double banger but he held it together. On a side note, the Reebok Sledgehammers are already on backorder.

Speaking of double bangers, Annie Thorisdottir & Julie Foucher finished 1st & 2nd respectively. I was rooting for Julie this year in spite of my restraining order however, Annie may be the strongest woman I have ever seen. If she had a baby, I am pretty sure it could Clean & Jerk more than me.

Matt Chan put on a great performance but just couldn't quite get the top spot on the podium. Based on that photo, I'm pretty sure his boner finished 2nd as he edged out Kasperbauer by a head. That second place finish should be good enough to get him a few sponsorships from Reebok, Rogue, & Viagra.

How about Lucas Parker's beard? I honestly would not have been surprised if he dropped his shorts and took a deuce mid-wod. He is like the Anti-Rich. I see an endorsement from Jack Links Beef jerky in his future for the "Messin with Sasquatch" commercials...

Deb Cordner Carson won the spirit of the games basically because she conquered her fear of the ocean swim. While I am sure she is deserving, I would have voted for Chris Spealler. I'm pretty sure this is his last games and he conquered his fear of being short.

The overall games broadcasting was really good as usual. Pat Sherwood was on his game as was Miranda Oldroyd. Caity Matter Henniger was a nice addition too.  Miranda had a big cast on her mitt. I may have missed it but I wanted some back story on how that happened. I'm sure she hurt it lifting 3x the weight I am capable of but I'd still like to know. Also when she wears that sleeveless top it shows that her biceps are bigger than Pat's. Sorry Pat. Get to curling.

All in all, fantastic games this year. Now everybody go to the gym and realize how much you suck compared to these men and women.....

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