Friday, October 12, 2012

CrossFit Music...

Friday is my Olympic Lifting day. Nothing to see here. Just me and a bar looking slightly retarded. Was that politically incorrect? If it was then I apologize. I looked CrossFit "special needs". Better? 

Today we let "Big D" pick out the music as we lifted. First let me give you a mental picture of my buddy. He's kind of built like the strongman at a circus. HUGE arms and chest and can pretty much deadlift my truck. He also has a righteous handlebar mustache and a shaved head. He looks like he could literally pull your arms from their sockets. Lucky for me, he's an awesome dude. Anyway ~ his music of choice today was some "Death Metal". I don't know what any of the band names were but based on what they sounded like I'm guessing it was something like "Satan's Douche" or "The Baby Eaters". It was hardcore to be sure. I now have an uncontrollable urge to carry a battle axe and wear a viking helmet. Weird... It made me think of all the music that gets played at CrossFit or more importantly OVER-played. Here is my top 5 overplayed CrossFit music selections....

5. Metallica - How many times can I hear "Enter Sandman" and "For Whom the Bell Tolls"? If I keep hearing this sh*t I may accidentally grow a mullet. Technically with my hairline it would be a skullet but you get the idea....

4. Eminem/Jay-Z - I got 99 problems and these 2 douches are one. Now I'll admit to being a little biased here. I don't dig rap. The fact that I just said "dig" proves it, however, there have to be better rap options out there. I'll give Jay-Z points for scoring Beyonce though. She has a CrossFit squat booty....

3. Rave/House music - Most of this sh*t sounds like R2D2 getting droid-raped. Yes, that's a thing. If I wanted to workout and hear clicks and whistles I'd take up marathon running with a Kenyan. Also it is almost impossible to do a WOD on Ecstasy. Almost......

2. Welcome to the Jungle - Has anyone seen a picture of Axl lately? He looks like this song should be called "Welcome to the Drive Thru". I'm pretty sure G-N-R didn't break up, he just ate the other members. In any event, if I hear this again it's going to be "Welcome to some earplugs"....

1. Pandora - This channel is CrossF*cked. One minute you are working out to some good hard tunes and then BAM....Johnny Cash. Seriously. I love the man in black as much as the next guy but it's hard to snatch listening to "A Boy Named Sue". Even worse it will occasionally throw in some Nickleback. I'd rather do Thrusters naked over a seat of rusty razors than listen to that crap. At $150 bucks a member, the box needs to man up to some satellite radio.....

Rock on CrossFit.....


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