First off all I didn't need to pick up much so I was in the 8 items or less line. I'm always interested and amused to see what others are buying. The old lady who was first in line had a 72 pack of toilet paper, a gallon of prune juice, and coffee. I can only imagine that her bathroom is a war zone. The high school/college age girl (I'm too old to tell these days) in front of me had three Lunchables, a Kit Kat, and a pack of Reeses Peanut Butter cups. I was silently judging her skinny little ass. She's a future fatty for sure...
Here is where sh*t got real. A cute girl got in line behind me. She had no ring, was about my age, and had a bottle of Pinot in her basket. That combo screams "newly divorced" which is my wheelhouse. Who am I kidding? I don't have a wheelhouse but if I did it would be "newly divorced". Those chicks are desperate.
Now all I needed at the grocery was some vegetables for my salad, meat for dinner as well as some stuff to fix my hands from the WOD. Here is what was in my basket.
- One cucumber & carrot
- Foot long kielbasa
- Latex gloves
- Vitamin E lotion
I looked at her basket and smiled. She looked at my basket and gave me a look that I can only describe as utter horror and confusion. Now I'm a realist and at that point I had nothing to lose so I decided to talk to her. As it turns out "They were out of Duct tape" is not the effective conversation starter that you think it would be and a bottle of Pinot can be used as a defensive weapon.....