Monday, December 10, 2012

Random #CrossFit tweets

I don't blog nearly as much as I would like but I spend WAY more time than I should on social media. Twitter seems to get the most of my attention these days because I can get info out to a lot of Crossfitters at once. I also like the challenge of making a point (funny or otherwise) in 140 characters or less.  It tends to make my line of thinking seem to be pretty random but I thought I would share some of my favorites. Feel free to follow me @JFWodfather.


  • I'm writing a  S&M book called "Filthy Fifty Shades of Sore"....
  • Panera was so busy I can only assume they were giving away free salads and blow jobs.... 
  • Still cant feel my arms 4 hours after "Diane". I was hoping my pride was the only thing that was wounded....
  • I did handstand pushups with no pad today. I guess my ex was right. That extra inch makes a big difference...
  • I'm pretty sure I broke my thong during those back squats today...
  • I think its called "Filthy Fifty" because it made me feel like I'm 50...
  • Work conference has bacon on the buffet. They have no idea what I'm capable of....
  • Im being driven around by a Pakistani cab driver named Bubba Singh 
  • Fun fact: When getting patted down, TSA agents are not amused if you go "Boom chicka wah wah"...
  • Did some yoga with my friends . CFD Nation can vinyasa like a mother*cker...
  • I have to quit eating chili on Thursdays. The peeps at Friday lifting class are farting to get annoyed...
  • Im excited to WOD in Dallas next week because my legs are so white they'll love the country music...
  • Rump hurts, Arms hurt, Legs hurt, Shoulders hurt, Thank God it's REST DAY! I love 
  • Burger King has a new "Angry Whopper" which is ironic because their food usually gives me an angry bunghole...
  • I've had such a rough week the thought of another WOD gives me a fear boner...
  • When I win the lottery I'm going to buy a  affiliate and name it CrossFit Romney...
  • 120 burpees and box jumps gives you a sore ass and forearms. So does prison. These things may be related....
  • "Look at the size of my poods" - things only a crossfitter would say
  • I just made a gingerbread man homeless 
  • After seeing Duck Dynasty and Honey Boo Boo I find it hard to believe no one in my family is famous...
  • I'm a 40 something, marginally good CrossFitter. I'm kind of like Rich Fronings lesser known jerk brother "Dick Froning"...
  • They are selling Twinkies on eBay. Get them while they are still fresh. Bidding ends in 38,521 days...
  • I want Obama to bailout Hostess just so I can hear him say "Twinkies & Ding Dongs are alive and Osama Bin Laden is dead"...
  • My foam roller just told me that it just wants to be friends 
  • Hot Chocolate makes everything better................. except diabetes.

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