Sunday, July 28, 2013

My CrossFit Games "Wish List"...

So I am sitting on the couch, drinking a gluten free beer and watching replays of the 2013 CrossFit Games while I wait for the finals tonight. I'm addicted like that. My buddies and I have had some debate lately around how big the sport is getting and how as it grows more fantastic athletes will jump in. As the money gets bigger, eventually you have to believe that some Division One or Pro athletes will see an opportunity and start competing. It made me wonder what the sport would be like if a few of my favorite athletes decided to join. Here is my list of people I wish would CrossFit:


1. Tim Tebow - Who else could take away Froning's "Jesus" advantage? Only Tebow. Plus this dude is a freak athlete. He would only have to hope throwing a football accurately never becomes an event...







2. Tyrann "Honey Badger" Mathieu - Another freak athlete. Plus the Honey Badger just doesn't give a sh*t. He doesn't care. Since this sport was conceived in California he can smoke all the weed he wants. Just make sure you exhale before you start those handstand pushups Tyrann...








3. LeBron James - As a Clevelander. I'm required to hate "LeB*tch" but with that said, he has game. He's big, strong, fast, and super athletic. He'd be great at it. It would also be funny to watch him "take his talents" to P90X...







4. Manti Te'o - Terrific Linebacker who is really fast and strong. He's built for CrossFit. He has a TON of experience getting "no-repped" in relationships so a CrossFit WOD should really be no big deal...








5. "Iron" Mike Tyson - Who wouldn't want to see Iron Mike do some burpees? I bet a young, in shape Tyson would kick ass at CrossFit. I'd also LOVE to hear him pronounce "Cwossfit" and say something like "Wich Fwoning's power is discombobulating"





Honorable Mentions:

  • Lance Armstrong - No one drug tests in CrossFit do they? He has one ball people. One ball...
  • Aaron Hernandez - I bet he'd be great at Pistols....
  • Ben Roethlisberger - Payback would be a b*tch as a CrossFit girl kicks his ass...
  • Tiger Woods - We'd all be watching Tiger try to jump Iceland Annie in 3-2-1 Go!...
  • Reggie Bush - He dated Kim Kardashian so heavy snatches are obviously not a problem...



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