Tuesday, February 4, 2014

JFW enters the 2014 CrossFit Open

Yeah Yeah Yeah….. I know it's been awhile. I've had a few busy weeks but I'm back. I am excited however to announce is that JFW is officially registered for the CrossFit Open. Feel free to stalk my profile here.

Click here to stalk JFW's completely awesome CF Open profile

Now I have no illusions of doing anything spectacular in the Open however I figured I would be doing all of the workouts anyway so I might as well see how I stack up. I was amused with the registration that included having to agree to the drug testing policy. As usual, I have a few takeaways.

First of all, no one from Colorado or Washington will ever win the CrossFit Games. The list of banned drugs was longer than Matt Chan's boner.  It included no weed, growth hormones, and no caffeine in your urine over 15 micrograms/ml. I don't even know what that last part means but I'm sure as sh*t going to quit stirring my coffee with my d*ck. That makes you re-think your "cream & sugar" order doesn't it.

Second, there was an entire appendix regarding the collection of urine. It was like reading "50 Shades of R. Kelly". I can't believe that someone has put that much thought into piss. If I were a games athlete, I would eat a ton of asparagus just prior to testing and tell the collector "I added some cologne for you". I wonder if you need a level one to be a piss collector?

Last, they actually had a rule that states "No alcohol just prior or during the event". This is really a bummer because I was hoping that WOD 14.1 would be an AMRAP of tequila shots. The only rule that makes sense to me regarding booze is telling Castro no drinking prior to thinking this sh*t up. Castro is a former Navy Seal so i would like to say that last line was a joke (please don't kill me Mr. Castro).

We'll see how everything goes. I'm excited to watch my fellow athletes at our box compete and to see how I stack up against the other old farts in my region. I already know how I stack up against the other old farts in my gym. If you haven't signed up, then go do it now and let's have some fun.



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