June 3, 2014

Why a CrossFitter hates rest day…



I hate rest days. I swear to God nothing makes me crazier than doing nothing. I think I get addicted to the rush of a workout or maybe I just hate not getting to wear my really fly Lululemon clothes and knee socks but regardless, I hate it. One of the most common mistakes that new CrossFitters make is not resting enough so here are my tips to a successful rest day.

1. Rest - Now a lot of you read that and said "No sh*t Sherlock!" but most CrossFitters are too stupid to actually rest. They do this thing called "Active Rest". Now I would buy into the whole "active rest" thing if it was walking around the block or maybe a light activity like mowing the yard but for the most part, a CrossFitters "active rest" evolves into a long trail run or "tech work" with a bar and light weights. Cut that shit out. The only thing you should be lifting on a rest day is a glass of water or the remote and the only time you should run is if you are being chased from "actively resting" with some other guys girlfriend…

2. Sleep - Quit going to bed at midnight. I know you want to watch a repeat of the CrossFit Games on ESPN8 "The Ocho" but that's why God made DVR. Let me save you time. Rich wins. Go to sleep. You need at least 7-8 hours. Of all the stupid recovery things I do, this is the one most important. If you think you may get some "active rest" while you are in the bedroom then go to bed an hour earlier so you still get 7-8 hours. If you are married then don't worry about it. We know you're sleeping….

3. Drink - Water is your friend. I'm not talking about coffee water or diet soda water. Drink actual water water. Quit adding sh*t to it and drink it straight. I can already hear the complaints…"I don't like the taste of plain water."….You know what I don't like? Being dehydrated and sore during a WOD. Burpees are hard enough. Don't compound it by not drinking enough water to recover. With that said, drink a cup of coffee in the morning. You're going to be crabby without it and I don't want to be to blame for your bitchiness…

4. Soak - I catch sh*t for this one. I love a good salt bath. I have a jacuzzi in my master bath and it's awesome. I get the water borderline scalding and add a cup or two of epson salt. I sweat out all the toxins and feel like a million bucks. Also if you combine tight underwear after sitting in the hot water for that long you are basically sterilized so you don't have to worry about surprise babies. Trust me. It's science…

5. Mobility - There are two schools of thought around mobility. There are those that love a good foam roller and swear by it to get rid of soreness. There are others that like to read that Supple Leopard book and shove a lacrosse ball up their ass. I fall into the first camp. First of all, if I am going to shove something up my ass it better come with a glass of wine. Second, the foam roller works just fine. Find a few minutes while you are watching TV and make that foam roller your b*tch. You'll thank me later…

Outside of those things, spend time with friends and family, eat something bad for you occasionally, find something to talk about other than CrossFit (gasp!), and enjoy your life. You've earned it…



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