April 2, 2015

Crossfit Escapism

When I started CrossFit several years ago, I was really just looking to get in shape and feel better. It wasn’t much more than that and seemed pretty simple at the time. Things aren’t much different now and while that is still a goal, I have noticed several unintended benefits that came with the program.

For one, CrossFit allows me to keep up with and outlast my kids on outings. A few weeks ago I took my 11 year old to “Sky Zone” which is an indoor trampoline park. We jumped for an hour and had a blast. The next morning she’s walking around the house bowlegged and complaining about how bad she hurts. There is nothing more fun than doing someone physically demanding with your kids and the next day listening to them bitch about being sore while you are fine. When she is sore like that I try to be a compassionate father and baby her by saying things like “Suck it up Buttercup!” or “Run upstairs and get my slippers”. It’s like “The Waltons” up in this bitch….

CrossFit has also made me stronger and faster physically and mentally which makes tasks around the house easier and more efficient. Summer time is always fun because I get to throw around bags of mulch without any thought of what I will feel like after moving 8-10 50# bags. Plus I get to get the women of the neighborhood all hot and bothered as I work in the yard shirtless. Who wouldn’t be turned on by a pasty white guy who smells like manure?

Most importantly, CrossFit has made me look better naked. CrossFit is like a naked insurance plan for single guys like myself. You know what I am talking about. You all have car insurance on the off chance that you get in a wreck and need help. This is basically the same thing. As a single guy you are never quite sure who will see you naked next so you have to be ready. It’s like Allstate but for your dick…

Admit it. You all just heard that dude’s voice in your heard….

Probably the biggest benefit and the thing I love most that I get from it is the general escapism that comes with a tough workout. It’s an hour a day that I don’t think about  anything other than the task in front of me. It’s just me and the bar trying to decide who will win today. (Spoiler alert: It’s always the bar.) I can set up in my garage, crank up the music, and just escape the days problems. Like the rest of you I have my own problems. Life can really suck sometimes and I need a way to escape it.

Along those lines I was watching “Rocky Balboa” the other day and in it the was a line spoken from Rocky to his son. He said:

“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place. It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you’re hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That’s how the winning is done!”

I normally don’t find my inspiration from Stallone but he was dead on the money here. Life will beat you down if you let it and for me I use the bar to beat it back. It’s cheaper than a shrink and better for me than beer. With that said a post workout beer is pretty awesome…


  1. Only a click amazing not to mention instructive put up. Thought about cherished it again. Thanks a lot for the purpose of post in this case with us.

  2. There isn't anything more enjoyable when compared to going through person intense together with small children and additionally the very next day taking note of individuals bitch approximately simply being hurt as well as dead ok.

  3. This can be a incredibly indicate in addition to terrible area. It will eventually overcome someone to ones knees in addition to hold people at this time there for good when you allow it to needlessly. People, everyone or maybe not anyone might attack seeing that tricky seeing that lifetime. But it really ain’t about how precisely precisely tricky you’re attack, it truly is about how precisely precisely tricky you can obtain attack in addition to move frontward, the amount of would you carry in addition to move frontward.

  4. I absolutely agree with the one hour grind wherein your only problem is the next set and nothing more. I feel more confident in my skin and I look great in my clothes. It really makes you feel awesome overall.