September 27, 2017

You might be a CrossFitter


  • If you have ever had enough tape on your hands to hold a bad marriage together.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you proudly show off your skinned knees and don't care that it makes you look like slutty.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you roll out of bed in the morning, realize that you can't walk, and it makes you happy.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • When you show off the rips in your palms to people just to make them cringe.....you might be a CrossFitter
  • When the time you spend laying on the floor after the WOD takes longer than the WOD itself.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you get an urgent need to pee exactly ten seconds before the WOD starts.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you have ever rolled around on a foam roller while saying "Who's your daddy?"....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you own five different tubs of protein powder and hate the taste of them all.....you might be a CrossFitter
  • When you can't fix a leaky faucet but you can tape two lacrosse balls together like a boss.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • When you make your kids do "penalty burpees" for not cleaning their room.....you might be a CrossFitter
  • If you have ever screamed after using hand sanitizer.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you have ever took a screenshot of the Wodify score and sent them to a “friend” so they know you kicked their ass.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • When you don’t know who your congressman is but you know Mat Fraser’s "Fran" time.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • You don’t believe in the science of Global Warming but won’t touch a white potato because you believe it is 100% fact that our ancestors only ate meat, nuts, and seeds...you might be a CrossFitter
  • After a workout you puke more than a 16 yr old girl with bulimia.....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you can't say "Fran" without also saying "I hate that bitch!"....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you refer to dating fat people as "RXing".....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If when you have sex you get excited that you finished first then bump knuckles and say "Good work!"....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • When you take a nap you refer to it a 3 rounds of pillow hugs for time...you might be a CrossFitter.
  • You complain about prices at Target but will gladly pay $90 for a tank top at Lululemon...you might be a CrossFitter
  • If you've ever shouted "No Rep!" during sex...you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you “hook grip” your iPhone....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you have ever said “You’re a beast!” to a girl and she said “Thanks!”....you might be a CrossFitter
  • If you have ever referred to gloves as “bitch mittens”....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you own more shirts that say “Rogue” than you don’t...you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you think $100 is too much for dress shoes but have 4 pair of the newest $130 Nano’s...you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you take your shirt off the second you walk into the gym....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you put so much chalk on your hands it looks like you have been giving massages to circus clowns....you might be a CrossFitter.
  • If you have ever posted a picture of a bloody apendange on Instagram with the hashtag #CrossFitproblems....you might be a CrossFitter.

1 comment:

  1. With so many options, chances are, everybody is somewhat a crossfitter. I myself do some of the things that are listed here that crossfitters do but does that really make me a crossfitter?

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